Fashion is such a great way to express ourselves, but sometimes we can make better decisions that can impact how we look and feel. As we age, it's important to pay attention to our style choices as some fashion choices can age us. Here are five fashion mistakes that you should avoid if you want to look your best.
Not accessorizing. Accessories can take an outfit from drab to fab. Don't be afraid to add some statement jewelry or a stylish belt to your outfit. It can add some personality and make you look more put together.
Ultimately, fashion is a way to express yourself and show off your personality. It's important to pay attention to the fashion choices you make, as some can age you. By avoiding these five fashion mistakes, you can look timeless, on trend, and feel more confident in your style choices.
The secret to dressing for your body shape is to identify your body type and then choose clothes that accentuate your best features and create a balanced silhouette.
Dressing for your body shape isn't really as complicated as it sounds. Once you know the formula, you won't believe how simple it actually is.
To dress for your body type, start by identifying your body shape (e.g. apple, triangle/pear, hourglass, rectangle, etc.). Next, choose clothes that flatter your figure by accentuating your best features and balancing out proportions. For example, if you're not crazy about your midsection, wear high-waisted pants or skirts to elongate your legs and create a more defined waistline. Additionally, consider investing in well-fitting, comfortable undergarments . Remember, the key to dressing for your body type is to feel confident and comfortable in your clothes, so experiment with different styles and find what works best for you.
The key to this shape is creating distinct top and bottom halves using separates. Tops that are fitted at the waist, while blousey, will give the illusion of a smaller waistline. Wearing items that tie allows you to create different shapes on a rectangle and can draw the eye to emphasize your favorite features.
Flowy bottoms and flared skirts that are fitted at the waist create balance as well as cropped sweaters and jackets creating horizontal proportion and defining the bust, waist and hips. Use color and pattern to help divide the body into two segments. The top segment should equal 1/3 of the overall length and the bottom component should be the remaining 2/3 so adjust your waistline accordingly.
The waist measurement on apple shaped bodies is generally the largest measurement with the bust and hip measurements coming in smaller. The bust and hip measurements on apple shaped women will be close to the same. Whether you are a Missy apple shape, or a plus sized apple shape figure, the formula will be the same. A-line anything, flaring from the armpit toward the hemline is a great profile for the apple shape. Flowy on top and fitted on the bottom achieves balance, but, again, the flowy part has to graze the body.
Things that are cut on the bias are also great for this shape because it creates a garment that takes girth from where you don't need it, and puts it where you do without looking clingy or feeling tight. If you choose to wear a tunic, make sure it's cut higher in the center and hits above your knee. If it hits your knee or below, it's a dress, wear it without pants underneath.
The triangle shape generally has narrow shoulders. The measurements on this shape gradually increase as they go down the body. The bust is the smallest measurement, followed by the waist, and then the hips are the widest measurement. Generally speaking with this figure, the key is to balance the top and bottom halves. Opening up the neckline draws the eye upward, elongating the body.
Wearing things with an empire waist is another great way to lengthen and balance a triangle. A wrap top or wrap dress tied under the bust achieves the same look. Cropped tops and jackets over a longer silhouette really adds balance to the triangle figure. Fitted tee shirts ruched higher than the waistline with a billowy bottom creates a long look. Drapey garments should graze the shape of this woman instead of standing away from the body. When clothing doesn't touch the shape, you can end up missing all of the great features of this figure.
Shop Your Triangular Figure Here
The best way to tell if your shape is an hourglass is to take your measurements. If your bust and hip measurement are the same or close to the same, and your waist is much smaller, these tips will work for you. First, anything that wraps or ties around your waist is a must. When you wear something more fitted at the waist, we get to see a silhouette. Shape is good.
If you prefer something on the flowy side, make sure that it tapers in at the waist so that we can still see shape. V-neckline is a must for hourglass and any line that moves diagonally across the body is such a plus. Another rule about wearing something flowy, not just for hourglass, but, for every shape is: if it's flowy on the top, then it needs to be fitted on the bottom and vice versa. Flowy + flowy = tent. Don't do that to yourself, let us see you!
Shop Your Hourglass Shape Here
Overall, if you don't love it, don't wear it! Women should wear what they love because it helps them feel confident and express their unique personalities. When you wear something that makes you happy, you radiate positive energy and that confidence can inspire others. Don't let anyone else's opinions or expectations hold you back from wearing what you love. Embrace your individuality and celebrate your personal style!
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Hopefully you're here to get some great ideas for new outfits you can create. No matter your shape, or age, we have answers to get you in the creative mood to reinvent dressing your body. Below each board are links if you like what you see where you can purchase items to fill in your closet. Also are descriptions for shapes that would thrive in this look as well as occasion suggestions. Quick note, we show you an entire look, even things we don't carry like shoes, belts, handbags, etc. As an Amazon affiliate, we may earn from qualified purchases---at no additional cost to you.
Now let's get started...
Running errands never has to be boring. Slip on your favorite comfy jeans, and a chic embroidered top, (or statement blouse), roll up your sleeves, add a broken in pair of slip on booties, a great leather handbag, a layered necklace to make your face sparkle, and a pair of gold rimmed sunnies. I chose the boots because of the western embroidery influence of the blouse, but you could just as easily substitute a loafer here.
This style works on most shapes, but, apple you will LOVE this look. With the loose casual blouse that gently falls over the tummy and hips with a lot of movement, this style will really flatter your shape. Hourglass, triangle and rectangle, think about tucking in a corner of the blouse to raise the leg line and show your waist.
shop the look: blouse | jeans | boots | handbag | necklace | glasses
LOOK by J Alexander
Our sporty girl is always on the go! She's the cool Mom with a hint of chic. Joggers look extra elevated when paired with a blazer and embroidered sweatshirt. This look is also a winner paired with leggings, jeans or shorts. Keep it comfortable, sassy and polished.
Shop the look: blazer | hoodie | joggers | watch | slip on shoes
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It was that blazer that launched my creativity with fashion. I wanted to wear it all of the time, but as someone who was in front of staff and repeat customers all of the time, I needed to change up my outfits frequently. I was also a merchandiser so finding new combinations of looks was my job. It was not long before I was able to convince staff and clients alike to think out of the box when it came to this wardrobe essential. Fast forward 30+ years and a pandemic later, and I will still tell you a blazer can be such a work horse in your closet. For those of you who are thinking blazers are frumpy and out-of-date, check out the suggestions below.
(Below each photo are links to buy the products photographed if you want to recreate the look. The pieces that are not part of my website are linked securely to a website where you can purchase that item. As an Amazon Affiliate, we may earn commissions on qualifying products.)
Nothing says classically casual like a blazer worn over a sweater. This look has been around for decades and stands the test of time. To keep this look modern, pair it with a fitted, lightweight sweater. Body positivity is always in style, and being able to see your silhouette is a must to avoid frumpy, dated dressing. I always tell my ladies that when you wear clothes that don't touch your body, you aren't disguising anything, you are actually adding volume because the eye just assumes you're filling in all the space underneath. It's much more flattering to wear clothing that follows your shape. Hourglass, triangle and rectangle will like this the most.
Get the look:
Blazer: I'm wearing size Large
Sweater; I'm wearing size Large
Belt: I'm wearing the 90cm
Booties: I'm wearing size 10
Athleisure is all the rage and I believe here to stay. Who doesn't love being comfortable? While I have no qualms running errands in a tee and leggings, it just doesn't look very put together. Tossing a blazer over the top really creates a moment to portray your individual style. It creates a fashion forward look and shows that you thought about your outfit. All shapes can wear this look, but, it's especially great on an apple.
Get this look:
Blazer: I'm wearing size Large
Leggings: I'm wearing size 1X
Tee: I'm wearing XL
Converse Slip On Shoes I'm wearing size 10
Add a pop of color and a finishing touch to your favorite black outfit. Wearing monochromatic pieces under a blazer elongates the body as the eye travels from the shoulders to the feet. A blazer is the perfect topper for this look because it's refined, and not heavy keeping the modern feel of a monochromatic silhouette. Blingy gold jewelry elevates the look even more, taking it from day to evening. Super for hourglass, triangle and rectangle.
Blazer: I'm wearing size Large
Stretch Button Up Blouse: I'm wearing 1X (more colors available)
Faux leather leggings: I'm wearing size XL
We don't call it the Rockstar Blazer for nothing! When I thought about adding a blazer to our spring collection, and envisioned all of the different ways it could be worn, I was most excited with the idea of styling it for concerts. The hubs and I love to go to local outdoor concerts in the spring and summer. Dressing for them can be a chore with warmer days cooling off with breezy nights. A blazer is the perfect piece of outerwear for concert season and literally is so cute with a concert tee underneath! (I collect one from every concert I go to). I've seen this look pulled of with shorter shorts, and a little heel as well. The length of the shorts is up to you. I would say a good rule of thumb is the shorter the leg, the shorter the short. You can choose anything from distressed denim like mine, to a more tailored walking short. Your look will still feel contemporary. Great on literally every body shape.
Blazer: I'm wearing size Large for reference
Concert tee: (You've got to go to the concert, and I promise, it's a GREAT show!)
Shorts: I'm wearing size Large
Earrings: I wear these constantly
Soft and feminine. Wearing silky camisole and a light pant is a great way to add a feminine touch to a boyfriend blazer. The juxtaposition of very fluid top with a more structured jacket gives the outfit balance and interest. The addition of a white pant takes the blazer into warmer months. Don't forget to pop a great light colored bag with this ensemble. Great on apples, rectangles and triangles.
Blazer: I'm wearing size Large
Camisole: I'm wearing the 1X
As always, I hope this blog inspired you to revisit your closet and maybe create some new looks defining your personal style. I want getting dressed in the morning to be something you look forward to and a way to express your individual personality. I hope you leave a comment in the notes below and let me know what you think. I always want to provide you with the most helpful and entertaining content, and be a positive addition to your day, so let me know if you'd like to see more blogs like this one.
Take care and remember, no matter what you wear....You.Are.Beautiful.
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One thing I used to love about having the stores was the wealth of information that was shared among women about everything from relationships, to raising kids, and going through menopause. It was so nice to hear from other women about conquering different challenges, and get first hand advice on what they found successful.
After having a total hysterectomy in 2021, I noticed a huge shift in so many things in my body. My emotional health, my brain, and my overall physical well being was not the same. Since I no longer had a vast community of women to interrogate, I hit the books. I've done a lot of research on the power of health related supplements that help boost your immune system, brain power, etc. and thought I'd share the info with you below.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor is any of this medical advice. Consider me a friend telling you about my journey and what I've tried and what I've found works for me. I am not making claims that you will have the same results. Only a doctor can make those claims. Also, as an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases, but, I ONLY recommend things I have personally used and that I really like. That said, here we go!
#1. Quecertin
I read about this supplement at the onset of the Pandemic. I didn't really try it right away, until I was exposed to the virus by a close friend. I decided to try it to stave off the possibility getting full blown COVID. I never ended up having symptoms.
When my daughter caught COVID in New York, I sent her some. She seemed to think it helped reduce her symptoms, pretty dramatically. Since then, I started taking them whenever I travel, get a sniffle or scratchy throat. I feel like these little gummies have kept me healthy every winter, and work great to minimize any gobbley gooks that may have gotten through. I have them on autoship and my whole family takes them regularly.
#2 Phosphatadyl Serine
Don’t ask me to pronounce thiss. After my hysterectomy last year, I felt like a shadow of the person I was before. One of my faculties heavily impacted was my memory. I've heard so many women complain about this issue as they head into menopause, but, never realized how truly debilitating it was. I read about this supplement Phosphatadyl Serine that optimizes brain health, especially memory, intercellularly. They've even been successful using it with Alheimer's patients. It has also been attributed to reducing anxiety. I can report that after taking it for two weeks, my husband and I noticed a huge difference in not only our memory, but, our stress levels. I take 300mg per day and can tell you first hand it has made a significant difference for me.
#3 Focus Factor
The second faculty severely affected by my surgery was my focus. I went from being a multi tasker that could accomplish a list of 15 tasks in a day, to a woman who struggled to complete two items in a 12 hour period. The drastically affected my work. Not wanting to resort to drugs, I researched supplements that would stimulate focus. I tried several, and Focus Factor was the one that really made a noticeable difference for me. I take one dose of this one everyday too.
#4 Bondi Boost
I have had thin hair my entire life, but, with the change in estrogen in my body, I experienced significant hair loss. I found Bondi Boost from a friend, (whose hair I complimented), and she recommended it. I love the way it makes my scalp feel. It contains peppermint oil that stimulates the hair follicles. The conditioner feels luxe without being heavy. I started only washing my hair twice a week, so I needed a conditioner that wouldn’t make my hair look greasy. I found this combo worked so well that I started using the hair mask, protective spray, and serum as well. I’ve noticed quite a difference in my hair.
#5 Coconut Oil Skin Food
Dry skin is a BIG problem during menopause. Your skin is also your largest organ, so anything you put on it is absorbed into your body. The thing I love about using coconut oil on my skin other than the silky smooth skin, is that it creates a great barrier for other things I put on my skin like make up, sunscreen, etc. It makes me feel better knowing that all of those chemicals are not being completely absorbed into my system. My favorite is the Skin Food by All Good. It is absorbed quickly and doesn't leave a greasy or sticky residue, just soft, supple skin. Side note, it also can be used anywhere on your body. If you're going through the "change", you know what I mean.
I hope these little tips help you in some way. Let me know in the comments below if you struggle with any of these issues, or if you've found anything that helps you. I'm always looking for solutions!
Be well and enjoy!
Jill
]]>It's been a minute!! I've missed you all terribly, and so much has happened since closing our brick and mortars. Although we've kept the brand and the website active, so many of you have messaged me about how much you miss the stores. You've said things about missing the conversations, the connectivity with other women, the advice and information exchange, and frankly so do I! It was my favorite thing about having my back office in the store, and honestly some of my best ideas originated from those conversations.
Recently, I was asked to review some products and share them with my readers. I told the manufacturers, that I could only do so if it was something I would use myself. Hence....no recommendations. I've checked out so many things now, and I really didn't feel like anything was something great or even necessary.
It was then, I came up with the idea that I would start using my blog to communicate with all of you, and recreate some of the discussions that would happen in the stores. Talks about the latest and the greatest products, a wonderful book you read, advice you tried, pep talks, and things that are helpful to women over 40 navigating changes in their lives. I'm hoping the conversation flows back and forth. I don't want it just to be my advice or experience, I really want you to chime in with yours so that other women can benefit from all of our knowledge.
The last two years have been a ride and I've had lots of different experiences that I want to talk about, and I hope you do too.
The best way to be notified when I have a new discussion up is to scroll down the the subscribe section and enter your info. I have never and will never share your info with anyone. If that doesn't suit you, you can always follow our Facebook page @jillalexanderdesigns where I will be posting links to any new blogs.
It feels great to know we'll be talking again!
Cheers!
Jill
]]>I will be honest, 2020 has been off to a rocky start for me personally. Other than several personal issues, I had a major health scare that took a long time to figure out.
]]>I will be honest, 2020 has been off to a rocky start for me personally. Other than several personal issues, I had a major health scare that took a long time to figure out. While I was waiting on results and having all kinds of testing, I also needed to find a way to continue my work in building other women up. It was then I really realized how special the space we’ve created has become. Just when I was feeling I couldn’t take anymore, someone would walk in with flowers, or stop in just to give me a hug without even knowing I was going through anything. My staff was totally there for me and covered for me whenever I needed a break. The Wilson Phillips song, “Hold on for one more day” has become my mantra. I recently received the good news that my condition is treatable and am having surgery in a few weeks to rectify my problem. I am beyond grateful but can’t help but think of all the women just like me who must keep going despite facing devastating news. It’s not easy and I believe more than ever, we need places where we can be surrounded by other women and related to.
Therefore this Saturday; February 29 will be our biggest Anniversary celebration to date. In the six years that we’ve had the store, we have turned it into a safe place for women to share, care, shop, laugh, and embrace. It means more to me today than ever so I’m pulling out all the stops.
Drop by this Saturday between 10 and 6 and enjoy wonderful food, fizzy drinks, special discounts, a raffle, and the camaraderie that only women can share. Let us know if you’re stopping in so we make sure we have enough goodies for everyone. Thank you for giving us six wonderful years.
]]>New Arrivals
Jackets
Blouses and Tops
Pants and Leggings
Dresses
Do you ever stop to think how you got to the point you’re at in your life? Do you think about all of the small little moments that have added up to equal one big life? Maybe you don’t consider your life big yet. Maybe you’re still waiting for life to happen, or think that the best parts of your life are over.
The thing is, we are constantly on a journey. Whether or not we feel the changes happening around us is immaterial. Life is constantly moving and shifting, causing us to become multidimensional. Sometimes the shift is memorable like becoming a parent or experiencing a death. Sometimes it’s something that seems inconsequential like complimenting a stranger or allowing someone in front of you in traffic.
I’ve come to learn that each and every moment is special. It teaches you something and shapes who you are.
I’ll never forget my first runway. I was both excited and terrified. At the end of my segment, I was introduced and it was my turn to walk. I took a few steps out onto the runway, took a bow and returned backstage where I was most comfortable. All of a sudden, I hear the show’s producer, Gwen DeVoe, say to the audience, “Oh no Jill Alexander! That is NOT how we walk a runway at Full Figured Fashion Week! She came backstage, took my hand, and painfully made me walk to the end of the runway to take my bow. While in that moment, (and several years after), I was completely mortified, it shaped me. I have proof. Last summer, I attended a show to support Gwen and several other women in the industry whom I admire and love. In a break between sets, Gwen spotted me in the audience and invited me to join her on stage. She introduced me, congratulated me on my success, thanked me for my support over the years, and then invited, (forced), me to take a walk on the runway, by myself, not hidden by a collection. As I stepped up there this time, I felt so empowered. The audience cheered, I gave them a little shimmy, and walked clear to the end and took a confident bow. All the while, thoughts of that first walk popped in my head and I was able to say to myself, “You’ve come a long way baby.”
My point is, whatever life throws at you is meant to shape you. “Bad” experiences are not bad, they’re just temporarily uncomfortable and were never meant to get stuck on. Focus on the best, and let the rest make you better. Celebrate your awkward runway moments and your runway victories. They are shaping you for your true purpose.
Yesterday, there was a lot of talk with this warmer weather about going sleeveless. Many women are more worried about what others would think of their arms, than being comfortable in warmer temperatures. Here’s the thing, gravity pulls on all of us, and at some point, everyone has a little UADD, (underarm dingle dangle). Trust me when I say no one else’s life is over because you don’t have fabric covering your arms. When we stand in front of a mirror, we stand completely still. Often we gawk at all of these little imperfections we see in our bodies. The thing is, we are beings in motion. We never stop moving so others are not seeing all these little things we worry about in the mirror. What I find, is most people look at the overall whole person. When they see you coming down the street, they notice the whole package. Show them your big bright smile and some self confidence, and they won’t even remember what you wore. #selfconfidence #gosleeveless#bodypositivity #agelessstyle #fashionover40 #thisis50
]]>Here are five of my go to pieces that will work for your next summer vacation.
1. ESSENTIAL CAMI TUNIC SLIP DRESS
We used the word “essential” in the name for a reason. This is literally my go to piece on every trip I take. During the day, I throw it on with leggings and a kimono jacket to run around in. In the evening, I glam it up as a dress with heels, a moto jacket and lots of bling. It stays completely wrinkle free, and folds up to about the size of the palm of your hand making it perfect for travel. It comes in about eight colors and prints to suit every wardrobe.
2. SHEER CHIFFON KIMONO JACKET
By day, it’s a bathing suit cover up, by night it’s an elegant jacket for an evening out. This piece is so versatile, you can even rock it with a t-shirt, jeans, and converse tennis shoes. Tie it up or leave it wide open. They come in lots of bright prints and you won’t have to iron when you unpack.
3. STRETCH COMFORT CAPRIS
Running around all day has never been more comfortable than in these little gems. Our special stretch fabric allows for movement every which way, while providing support for your legs. They come in lots of solids and prints, and like the aforementioned products won’t require any pressing.
5. VEGAN LEATHER MOTO JACKET
This goes on every single trip I go on. First, it folds so small, I can put it in my purse! Say that about another jacket! It is very lightweight, so those of us who tend to “get warm” will stay comfortable in this structured silohuette. Don’t let the photo fool you, even though it has a structured appearance, it has a very generous stretch fit giving great shape to every figure. Like everything else we do, it comes in lots of solids and prints too!
5. A STATEMENT TUNIC
Here’s your chance! Be creative! Go all out! A statement tunic should be a piece you love. It should be something that defines you. Are you Artsy? Bohemian? Classic? Romantic? The tunic you take should be a reflection of your style and something you can throw on with jeans or elevate with black pants or skirt. It’s for those times when you’re meeting new people, taking lots of pictures, or doing something unfamiliar. It helps you feel like you.
Using these five as your base wardrobe gets you started, and then you can fill in with some basic tees, leggings, etc. Enjoy your adventures this summer, and make sure to stop by and tell us all about them!
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I ended up graduating from San Diego State. I never transferred. I met my husband, and the love of my life because I was there. We have two amazing children because I was there. I had the support to start this life changing business, because I was there. The best things in my life happened because I ended up in San Diego. My devastation became the greatest gift I’ve ever known.
I’ve learned to trust the process. Whenever I do everything in my power to make something happen, and it doesn’t, I know that there is something better that’s meant to be, and it never fails me.
As this business grows and flourishes, and we take on new ventures, there is excitement and disappointment. With every effort we make there is an opportunity for something greater. This is the one big, beautiful life you get. Say yes, try hard, and all of the rest will fall into place exactly as it should.
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Every new year I begin with certain goals and intentions in mind. I look at the prior year’s lessons that can be improved upon, and reflect on the little victories that can be expanded upon. I think about the people who have changed my life in one way or another, and the new relationships I’ve formed as well as those I’ve released. I aim not to live my life with any regrets so I usually assess moments that I could have been braver, stronger, kinder and fearless. This year has been full of all kinds of those moments. I’ve been blessed to connect with women who are changing the world, who are fighting for their lives, and who are struggling to find their place in this world. I’ve let go of relationships that we’re becoming toxic even though it felt impossible to say goodbye. I set boundaries in some relationships to keep myself or those I love “safe”, and reopened my heart to some relationships that I felt were over.
I use those moments to set new goals for myself, but, I allow room for life’s continually changing path to shape me in ways I hadn’t planned. One of our biggest heartbreaks of 2018, the loss of my mother-in-law, will become a non profit to help others in 2019 at fortheloveofdixiecom. My husband’s illness and near death from starting a statin drug has made me a very vocal advocate for using food as medicine.
Ultimately I am grateful to step into each new year with an opportunity to change the world around me, to make someone’s life a little better, and to share my lessons with whomever needs to hear them.
If you’re reading this right now, know that you have been part of my journey in one way or another, whether or not we have officially met. I am so grateful to you for your participation and your connection. I hope 2019 brings you what you’re dreaming of, and that you have an opportunity to look at your life and consider it full of great moments.
“Just walk with me on this path and allow the light that is inside of us to lead the way. “
-JM Storm
]]>About a month ago, I was working in our Scotts Valley, CA store, and one of our regular customers came in. I greeted her with a hug and asked how she was doing. She then proceeded to tell me that just after the last time she was in, she’d had a heart attack. She was with her cousin, and they were spending the day together. She started noticing that her feet were getting unusually red and hot. It was odd enough that her cousin recommended taking her in to get checked. Thank God for her cousin, because the doctor discovered that she had a significant blockage and immediately put in a stint. The doctor told her that if she hadn’t come in, she probably would not have survived. She was just coming by to give me a hug and share that story with me. I was so touched and overwhelmed that all I could do was tear up, and hug her again.
Almost two hours later, another regular customer came in and I noticed she was limping. I asked her what had happened, and she told me that this was her first day out in two weeks. She was driving to her water aerobics class and her tire blew. She was on a windy mountain road and the force of the tire ran her off the road, down a steep incline and right into a tree. She told me that by all rights, she should be dead. She was in a Subaru, (I’m not being compensated by them), and believes that saved her life. Then she proceeded to tell me that she had to stop in and give me a hug because she always feels so much better when she comes in. Once again, I was speechless.
No joking, an hour after that, a third regular customer came in to let me know that she flatlined on the table during her back surgery! I think I startled her when I grabbed her and cried, “You’re the third person to tell me a story like this today!”
Now the overthinking Gemini in me kicked in. After calling the manager of the Los Gatos, CA store to tell her I was locking up and going to get a drink, I thought, THREE IN ONE DAY! What was the message here? All three ladies had near death experiences. All three ladies felt compelled to come by and share the intimate details with me. All three ladies have touched my life, and were letting me know I’ve touched theirs. I started to think about all of the women I meet daily. The things they share with me, the stories they tell. I know so many details about so many lives, and I'm in awe of how freely they open up and invite me in. I could have never predicted that opening a women’s clothing store would create a place where women would share their experiences and make me a part of their journey. I am so blessed that my obsession with fashion turned into something that I never intended it to be, a way to touch the lives of other women.
]]>Kids are back in school, magazines are thicker, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back, but, the temperature isn’t quite cooperating yet. Our New Arrivals will have you celebrating this new season while keeping your cool .
Pairing lightweight tops in rich fall color with longer pants and skirts will keep you comfortable while staying on trend.
Incorporate some of the latest new color trends. This Fall, pairing softer blues, mauves, and sage with sharp black, and grays will have you looking like you belong at New York Fashion Week.
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My daughter Callan moved to New York about four years ago to study Musical Theater. She's been working hard on her career and recently, the cute t-shirt brand Yummiewear, conducted this interview after a photoshoot they did with her. I was once again reminded of the critical importance of positive body talk, especially in front of young female minds. They notice, and soak up everything.
]]>Tomorrow, I turn the big 5-0.
I am more excited to celebrate this birthday than probably any other.
At 50, I have experienced the most incredible things. I’ve felt love so deep that I couldn’t breathe, and pain so excrutiating that I wanted to die. I’ve brought life into this world, and I’ve held the hand of someone slipping away. I’ve danced with my husband in the kitchen while making tacos and drinking boxed wine, and I’ve dined at the French Laundry with good friends. I’ve designed costumes for God knows how many children’s plays, and sat in the living room of Carnie Wilson while working on her Red Carpet gown. I’ve gotten to experience relationships so deep that those people become carved in your soul, and so shallow that they leave you wondering what happened. I’ve walked the runways in London and New York, and I’ve dressed senior citizens and cancer survivors to have their moment on the runway. I’ve had the opportunity to see people who live in the poorest conditions, be generous and joy-filled, and have had people who seemingly had everything confide how empty their lives feel. Every experience, mistake, success, interaction and relationship has become a part of me. I am wiser, I am stronger, I am smarter, I am happier than I have ever been before.
I know there are those that dread becoming older. They worry that the physical changes that are part of the process somehow make them less than. I say phooey. I may not be the weight I was in college, I have lines in places that once were smooth, and I have a little UADD, (underarm dingle dangle), but, I would not trade this time in my life for anything. At fifty, we have the wisdom, experience, and courage to squeeze every good drop out of this life.
My birthday wish for you is, as you approach each decade, I hope you find time to reflect on how far you’ve come, and how every experience has helped to create who you are today.
I still remember the first time she came in. Let's call her "J". She came in and perused the store like many women do, touching different garments, engaging in a little small talk. Her questions were generalized, and as we answered them with the unexpected, her eyes widened. "Wait, everything comes in every size?"
"Yes," I answered, with a smart alec follow up, "you're lucky, when we started we only designed for plus sized women. Now, we carry your size too!" A huge smile came across her face. She went into the fitting room to try some things on, and we made suggestions about different silohuettes she should try.
When she made her selections, she came out of the fitting room, walked up to me with the most compelling look, and said, "Tell me your story. I want to know more about how you came up with the styling, your mission, all of it!" As I spoke, she hung on to every word. She was drinking it all in.
Now, this is something that actually happens frequently. It is more often my plus size customers that are in wonder and awe of the variety of shapes and sizes. "J", surprised me by her reaction because she was a standard size. She had the world of fashion right at her fingertips, and I couldn't imagine that fit was ever an issue for her.
"J" became a great customer and like so many of our customers, sang our praises to lots of other women. One day recently, she came in with items that she bought that weren't going to work with the dress code at her new job. The purchase was well outside of our return policy. I told her that I would make a one time exception because she was such a great customer and would issue her a credit for the items. I explained to her that the reason for our return policy was simply because I won't resell clothing, worn or not, that has been exposed to the basic home allergens for a significant period of time. I just feel someone buying something "new", should get it "new". "J" immediately welled up. She asked me not to give her the credit, just to give the clothing to someone deserving. I told her that the items actually would be donated to a woman's charity, as we do with any items that we don't sell. Then, shepulled me aside and told me this incredible story.
Growing up, her father liked beautiful expensive things, and he bought them for himself. Whatever he desired, he purchased, often leaving "J' and her family to go without. She told me that she would go to school without a backpack or a coat, and she grew up feeling unworthy of having nice things. Financially now, she has the means to have nice things. She told me it wasn't until she came into my store, that she ever really felt beautiful and worthy. She went on to tell me that something as simple as coming into a store to buy a couple of items changed her life. That we, changed her life. We hugged and cried together. I issued her a credit, and she went on her way.
A little while later, she came back into the store. With tears in her eyes, she handed me her credit and asked me for a favor. She wanted to pay forward the gift of being made to feel worthy. She wanted me to find someone who really needed to feel valuable. She asked me to give that woman her store credit so she could have the full experience. I couldn't believe my ears. I was so moved, that I just ran around the counter to hug her. In my excitement I suggested that she be the one to present it to the woman and "J" just quietly shook her head no. She said, "She doesn't need to know who it's from, just share my story."
And so I did.
I am seriously the luckiest woman on earth because I get to experience moments like this on a regular basis.
]]>It was my very first wholesale show as a brand. I had been before to scope things out, make some decisions on my merchandising and set up, and learn the basic wholesale lingo and terms. I came prepared. Life size posters, brochures, printed pens, catalogs, price lists, order forms, and samples from my first collection. We spent most of the day before making sure everything was perfect for show day. The set up was long and arduous, but, it was going to be worth it. Towards the end of the set-up day, in flies this man with a single rolling rack, some tubs and a couple of wire grids. He heads into the booth straight across from me, sets his things up in about 15 minutes, and starts to head back out. On his way, he notices me and says, hello. He introduces himself as Kenny and basically welcomes me as a newbie to the show. He dashes out with a quick, “See you in the morning!”
The next morning arrived quickly, and I was dressed and ready to sell. I started introducing myself to the other manufacturers around me, when I noticed a commotion behind me. When I turned around, I saw Kenny from the night before. He had a bagel on a plate and was walking down the aisle with a big smile saying hello to everyone like he was at a family reunion. When I looked over into his booth, there was this darling little woman, Betsy, straightening and preparing for the day. Kenny got to the booth and he proceeded to immediately tell her about who he ran into, and what they were doing the last six months.
For the next four days, whenever there was a lull in Kenny’s booth, he would saunter over to mine and start quizzing me. In a very gruff, Long Island, Jewish accent, he’d ask me things like, “do you give people terms? who does your sewing? why don’t you offer missy sizes? " Betsy would have to reel him back in to get him back to their booth. She was his saving grace. She had heard and seen his banter before and knew how to head it off at the pass. It was just a matter of time before he started in with the advice, and bad jokes. Betsy would apologize for him, and we quickly bonded just over the laughter of it all. I knew without question he had been doing this a long time and had seen lots of people come and go in this business. It would have been much easier to dismiss him as a nosey busy body, but, my life changed because I didn’t.
At one point, he had me pull out a sheet of paper and he took out a list of names and numbers. “Do you sell to (store name)?” I responded with a no, and he immediately read me the store’s phone number, gave me the owner’s name and told me to tell them Kenny sent me. My jaw dropped to the floor. Who does that? Then, after he was meeting with some of his best customers in his booth, he’d walk them over to my booth and introduce me to them. I couldn’t believe his natural generosity especially in an industry that can be so cut throat. He had no idea if I even knew what I was doing and trusted me with his people. He put his reputation on the line for me.
By the end of the show we were fast friends. He asked me if I was going to do the show again in six months and I told him I would. He proposed that at the next show, we share a booth. It made great sense to me and I welcomed the idea. That proposal was the beginning of the most incredible relationship. Each show, I would get there early and begin set up. Kenny would roll in at the closing bell and drop his things off. Betsy taught me the ins and outs of Kenny wrangling. Our customers began to enjoy the witty banter that would go back and forth as I would imitate the things he would say with his accent. I learned quickly what his "best sellahs" were and we could sell items in one another's lines. He would tell everyone who came by the booth that they had to buy my "5, 10, 15 Way Wrap thing", and then yell encouragingly at me to demo it. They certainly make the shows so much more fun.
Kenny and Betsy have become like parents to me. They check in. They celebrate every win and accomplishment. As a matter of fact, now, at the shows, when they introduce me to someone new, the person usually says, “Oh this is the Jill we’ve heard about! Nice to finally meet you honey!” Meeting them, has not only changed my business, it has changed my life. I don't know what this dream would have looked like without them in the mix.
Someone once told me that you don’t “find” a mentor, a mentor “finds” you. Kenny and Betsy are much more than mentors, they are family.
PS I put my life on the line posting the photo above. When we took it, Kenny said to me, "I don't want to be on that Facebook stuff." I responded, "Oh you're going to be on Facebook!", like any good daughter would.
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I had dubbed 2017 “the year of learning”, and I believe 2018 will be my “year of change”. I’m taking those tough lessons from the previous year and turning them into positive change. One of the biggest challenges from last year was with regard to healthcare.
My husband, who had just turned 53, decided to go in for a routine check up. When they drew his blood, they discovered his cholesterol was elevated. His doctor prescribed a routine statin drug for him to begin taking. Like most people, my husband questioned nothing and began the new regimen. Fast forward 90 days, after several visits to the doctor to check various symptoms, my husband ended up in the hospital for a week with a condition called, rhabdomyolysis, a rare side effect of this drug. This disease broke down many systems in his body that needed to be built back up.
Now before you come back at me and defend doctors and drug companies, let me be clear that this is not a blame fest. Doctors save lives everyday with the drugs they prescribe and the world would be very different without them. I am in no way telling you to ignore the advice of your doctor, this is more to share the options I’ve discovered going down a very difficult path almost losing my husband.
If you know anything about me, you know I’m a questions girl. I ask LOTS of questions, especially when I don’t understand something. It was through this process that I learned so much about the human body and what happens to it when we begin to alter things chemically. I sought out naturopaths, homeopaths, and read everything I could find on natural remedies to begin to help my husband rebuild his systems and stop the chronic pain he had acquired. I discovered that there are many options out there to routine prescriptions that are worth trying. One of those sources was a woman named, Heynia Loro-Cooley, owner of Culinary ONE Nutrition. She aspires to the motto, “Let food be your first medicine, and the kitchen be the first pharmacy.” She specializes in using real food solutions to balance the body. I love her so much, I invited her to do a mini workshop. She will have food samples, recipe cards, and special bubbly beverages. She’ll be there to answer any questions and address issues like adrenal fatigue, inflammation, and bloating. This event will be held at out Los Gatos location on Sunday, February 11, at 1:00pm. My hope is that if you or someone you love is struggling, you come down and just see what options are available. I didn’t know before I walked through this, and I wish I did.
This is a free event, but, let us know if you’re coming so we can plan for enough treats!
]]>On any given day, I get to experience the most amazing gratitude. One of the benefits of having my main office in our Scotts Valley store is that I get to hear customers trying on my clothes for the first time. If they don’t know who I am, I don’t tell them. If they know who I am, I usually will leave the room so that they feel free to give real feedback about what they’re trying on. Most times the conversation starts something like this, “I hate shopping, I can never find anything, that won’t look good on me,” and the dreaded, “that will be clingy.” Once we get past all her dislikes, (mostly about her body), she goes into the fitting room a little skeptical, and comes out transformed. The dialogue sounds more like, “I had no idea I could wear this, I usually don’t like prints, this fabric feels so good, and I can’t believe this fits me.” Then she usually shares her past shopping experience and raves to us about how different we are. The experience usually ends in hugs and happy tears, and she leaves feeling better about herself than when she came in.
A few months ago, I received a Facebook message from a woman in the south. She had heard about me years ago when I first started this business in 2009, and has followed my career ever since. She never bought anything, or tried anything on, she was just intrigued with my story, loved the photos of my clothes, and impressed by the comments she read from other women about their experience. When I delved in a little deeper with her, I asked her why she had never tried anything. She explained to me that she was on a fixed income, and had been saving her money for a jumpsuit. Saving her money for a jumpsuit! I was blown away! A woman, whom I’d never met, was saving her money to buy something of mine. I was so choked up, I couldn’t breathe. After we sent her the jumpsuit, she was so grateful she sent us photos in her new outfit, with her family, on her birthday. The joy on her face was tangible. She thanked me profusely and told me how owning that piece made her feel so special. That jumpsuit could never make her feel as special as she made me feel in that moment.
I’ve always known what we do is different and although I’m passionate about changing the shopping experience for women, I never really realized the profound effect it would have. When a woman spends her hard-earned money on her appearance, shouldn’t it make her feel wonderful? Isn’t that obvious?
]]>I ran away when I was five years old. I packed my teddy bear, and my skates, and headed down the street to a nearby family with five children. The mother, Mindy, (which she allowed me to call her), called my mom and let me stay through dinner. I don’t remember why I ran away, but, I do remember how powerful I felt taking that control. That was the first of many acts of defiance that would continue throughout my childhood, and cause my mother to feel ashamed and embarrassed.
My mother is the oldest child in a pretty traditional Italian family. Women and men had clear and distinct roles. Women didn’t speak their minds in public, and men could say pretty much anything that they were thinking. My parents parented the way most did back then, and raised my sister and me to “respect” our elders. We were to do what we were told, not to talk back, and be basically compliant to anyone older than us. My mother thought acts of defiance were considered rude and disrespectful. This is how she was raised, and this was what she knew. I think she felt as though having a daughter that didn’t fit that mold was a reflection on her parenting, and that it was her responsibility to control my actions, which was an impossible feat. That mindset, paired with my natural willfulness, made for a challenging mother-daughter relationship.
I don’t know what ever gave me the instinct to challenge the things that felt wrong or unjust. I really believe I was just born that way. I could always feel when something was off or unfair and felt a responsibility to say something, to make a change. If I disagreed with someone, it was rare that I could stay quiet about it.
There was one incident in high school that I remember distinctly. I was taking an Honors Spanish class. It was taught by a man, who I figured out quickly, preferred men over women. He constantly belittled the girls in class and praised the boys, often segueing into personal manly stories that only the guys in class appreciated. He did not appreciate my quick wit and smart remarks that I used to voice my objection to his prejudice, and he would often call me out to try to humiliate me to the class. Eventually, I began to skip his class. I always completed my homework and did well on tests. Going into the grading period, on paper, I was earning an A. When report cards came out that semester, this instructor gave me a D citing excessive absenteeism. My mother lost her mind. I explained why I didn’t want to attend his class, which at that time was not an acceptable excuse in her mind. She arranged a meeting with the teacher, where she expected me to apologize in an effort to change my grade. When we arrived in the office to discuss my situation, my teacher wouldn’t even look in my direction. He started challenging my mother on parenting such a disobedient girl. Wrong thing to do. He hit a nerve with her and she unleashed a fire storm of suppressed feelings that nearly knocked him back in his seat. I had never seen my mom react that way before. It was liberating, I felt justified, and he changed my grade.
Recently, I read a post written by a friend of a friend. She recalled an incident where she was in a store, and there was a mother with two young girls. The mother was expressing her worry over eventually having to raise teen daughters because everyone tells her what a problem they are. This woman explained to the mother that she had two teenaged daughters, and raising them is a wonderful experience. She was the first person to say this to the mother in four years.
Having two adult daughters of my own, I can attest, raising daughters has been such an incredible gift. Yes, in their teens they tested the boundaries, voiced their opinions, and questioned authority. They are supposed to. It’s not a personal attack, they are transforming into the adults they will become. As a mother, I felt it was important to let them have those moments where they were free to speak their minds. I believe it gives women the strength to speak up for the rest of their lives.
There is so much happening right now with women finally speaking out against everything from sexual harassment to rape. Powerful men like Harvey Weinstein, Ben Affleck and recently Matt Lauer are having their dirty secrets brought into light because of the bravery of women coming together and speaking out in the #metoo movement. As mothers of daughters, we should see this time in history as one where we can embrace and encourage the willful, robust period of the teen years. We can set the example of strength and grace by allowing our young women to be who they are and empower them by listening to what they have to say.
]]>I rarely consider myself weak. Physically, most days I am very on the go. I can lift 80lb rolls of fabric, shuttle heavy boxes of merchandise around, and log 4,000 steps before noon. If something needs to be done, I generally jump in and do it, and hardly ever wait for help. This was not the case the other day, and I am very grateful for the experience.
Last Sunday, my daughter and her boyfriend invited us, with his parents, to view a property they were investing in. The property was in between two high ridges and included the land on both hills. We drove in to see the land and met up with everybody. This was a very “fit” group of people who regularly hike, and enjoy physical outdoor activities. We started where we parked, the low-lying area of the property. As we explored around, they started to lead us up one of the hillsides towards one ridge. The hill was covered in bushes and eucalyptus trees. It smelled wonderful, and was breathtakingly beautiful.
I followed the group towards the back. I was wearing my best hiking gear, converse tennis shoes and skinny jeans. As we ascended towards the top, I was becoming shorter and shorter of breath. I did not want to admit defeat and stop, but ¾ of the way up, I needed to stop and catch my breath. The group paused with me, and though I encouraged everyone to carry on, they waited for me to be ready to move ahead. When we started up again, my daughter made her way back to me to check in. I told her I was fine, and we made a little joke about the fact I’m not an “outdoorsy” girl. She stayed with me at a slower pace to the top of the ridge, making casual conversation on the way up. Although I was feeling embarrassed, her ease and patience made me instantly comfortable and we made it to the top of the ridge.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think about that day. A challenge that tested me both physically and emotionally gave me an opportunity to see my adult daughter in a new way. She wasn’t the spirited little toddler, embarrassed early adolescent, or frustrated brilliant teenager that I have known from the past. She instinctively knew what to do to make a situation better, and she did it. She was a role model, comedian, and caretaker all rolled into one.
I know without my struggle that day, I would not have had the opportunity to meet this side of my daughter yet. I would have met her eventually, but, maybe not at a time that I would have been able to appreciate her so much. I believe that it is through adversity and challenges, that we are provided the greatest opportunity for gratitude.
Wishing everyone new opportunities to be grateful in the upcoming year. I am grateful to each one of you for your continued support, and for giving my life such purpose.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Jill
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